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    April 07

    发泄...无题...

    此时此刻自己要发泄憋在心中多时苦闷的情绪...大学毕业了...自己开始烦恼工作的问题...不知道自己该往什么方向发展...不知道在家乡找工作还是在广州找工作...弄得自己的思绪很乱...感觉自己的前途渺茫...由于上次的工作临时出错...将自己的计划完全打乱了...心情越来越沉重...越来越糟糕...时间一分一秒的过去...自己的人生还有多少时间...还有多少青春可以让自己挥霍...还有多少次机会可以让自己重来...自己好象活在恐惧中...常常从睡梦中惊醒...面对这些问题在脑海里不断重复的浮现...答案却好象永远找不到...有时候非常痛恨懦弱的自己...为什么自信的自己会凭空消失了...现在的自己不敢接近镜子了...很害怕从镜子中看到自己这副颓废的模样...乱糟的头发...满脸的胡须...毫无神色的眼睛...此刻的自己宁愿整天藏到被自己弄得黑漆漆的房间里...静静地躺在床上...吸着喜爱的香烟...喝着喜爱的可乐...也不想出去看看外面的世界...房间里充斥着浓烈的烟草味...满地的可乐瓶子...自己像一个没有灵魂的尸体...整天对着电脑发呆...漫无目的地网络中乱逛...不知道自己何时才能重新振作起来...积极面对自己的人生呢...恐怕只是自己心中的一个愿望吧...

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